our days are done and over

you did it. congratulations to you. you finally did it. finally leaving me behind after all this time. finally breaking all what's left my heart, in me. but you didn't do a clean job, did you? no, you leave me behind with questions unanswered. with painful puzzles to figure out by myself. leaving traces of you in the air i breath, in my head, in my heart. leaving me behind with a thin invisible line that is still attached to me. maybe you cant see nor feel it, but i do. so congratulations to you my dearest. when i thought it would be impossible for you to leave me, after all that we've been through, after every pieces of love that i've given you, yet it was still possible for you. when you had a chance to be with someone who loves you despite everything that you've done, who loves you too much, its literally insane, yet you still broke her heart, by breaking your own promises towards her. if you want to go so much, then GO. go, run away from our memories. run as fast as you can. go and never come back. i love you. im sorry for loving you too much. i wish i hadn't.

morning glory

the heat creeps on my exposed skin
i can smell the fresh grass yards away from where i lay
bright rays from the sun blaze hits my face
through the open window
morning glory
that's what i've been waiting for.

a few moderate thuds on my door
makes my heart thump a little louder than before
makes my nerve dance vigorously
makes my feet tingles towards the door
now walking towards it
seems like a journey
to watch his beautiful face
on my morning glory.

lucky number 7

 

 

Happy 7th month dear.

I love you before, i love you now, and i'll love you forever.

we've been through alot these 7 months we're together.

happiness, hurt, pain, anger, fights, arguments, love, breakups, and makeups.

but i know we're strong enough to make it through.

i wont give up no matter what happens. 

and i wont allow you to give up too. never.

i love you too much, its the truth.

you're the best thing that's ever been mine. :')

<3

the love of my life

boring

this blog is seriously fuckingly boring. there is alot of stuff in my current life that i need to update about, but im just damn tired. so yeah. i would find a time to do it, i promise. i miss blogging, that's for sure. but, just wait, next time, there would be pages and pages of stories. coming soon. :D

my first advertisement

comments from my lecturer: creative, but the lightning bolts tu tak perlu sebenarnya. cukup dgn jam2 yang dekat atas tu. 

overall, a good effort for a first timer. doing this ad assignment was fun! mybe, as a career? ngehe.

you are a problem to solve, a mystery to unfold, and most importantly, a person to love

i've done my best. i've done everything in my power to make you love me. to make you stick with me until the end. to impress you. to have you as mine forever. to be your last. even when you tend to hurt me alot with your harsh mean words, with your difficult attitudes, with your dumb ego, and your goodbyes, i swallowed it all because i believe that, beneath all of that coldness, there is a big bright light waiting to shine from inside of you. all that coldness is just a mask. making you seem like a tough person. making people fear you somehow, so that you wont seem vulnerable and people wont take advantage of you, wont hurt you. and i would be the only person that you would show the other side of you. i would be the only person that you would open up your heart to. i would be person to make the walls of your giant ego to fall down, piece by piece. i would be the lucky person to have YOU and be the LAST one for you.

i would keep on trying to figure you out. to understand you. because i know i can. and i know that i would the only one who can. you should know, your mood swings is impossible but it makes me want to be closer to you. you are a roller coaster that i love to ride over and over again. when you tried to push me away, i would keep running back to you. and if you ask me "what is love?' i would answer with pride that LOVE is YOU.

do whatever you want

break me, kill me, love me, miss me, take control of me, take my soul, take my heart, break my heart, consume me, influence me, tell me you're sorry, tell me you hate me, tell me you love me, say something sweet, say something mean, tie me up, imprison me, hug me, kiss me, cry for me, yell at me, say harsh words to me, curse at me, write me poetry, do whatever you want with me, but i'll never stop loving you.

hello midterm

dear midterm, here you are again, making my life miserable.

my 19th birthday

last sunday, 6 march 2011 was my 19th birthday. my feeling towards this reality of life cycle? i am not quite sure. i feel kind of not-so-19. its like 19 is just a number. but im still not aging somehow. ha! thats what old people usually keep reminding themselves so that they dont seem to grow older than they already are. haha. but what the heck right? its only 19 dude. chill boleh? still young kan? ngehe. :B okay so i had to celebrate my birthday in campus because that saturday, we part 2 students have LPPKP the whole day, so we cant go back home. durinng the LPPKP session, i found out that there are 2 more people that have the same birthday as me. first was Nikita Nawawi from my class, dmc2G and 2nd was the lecturer who handled our LPPKP modules these semester which was Puan Noraida, a very nice, gentle and motherly lecturer. yay! 6 march rocks man. :D

anyway, i didn't have such a lame birthday after all. :D that night at 12 am, my roommates and anis sang to me the birthday song. aww. so sweet of you people. er okay. haha. and to add up my 'terharuness' that day, my mum and my brother came to melaka just to celebrate my birthday with me. my mum drove in the middle of the night from kl to melaka right after work. she arrived at melaka at about 4 am in the morning and slept at a local hotel. then without getting much sleep, she picked me up from my college at about 11.30 am to take me out. i was so glad when i saw my mum's face that day. i had missed her so much. so we went out. first we went to have breakfast, at the mamak restaurant infront of uitm. after done eating, my mum drove us all to Bandar Melaka! yay! :D we went to DP, and walk around the mall like some teenagers. i had suggested to go watch a movie, but i mum decline my suggestion because to her we cant really spend time together if we were in the movies. we cant have conversations and stuff. and that was kindda true. so i decided not to watch movie, because i want to really spend time my them. we went to Brands Outlet in the mall and shopped like its the end of the world. haha. not really la. but we did shopped a lot. my mum was so generous that day, maybe because it was my birthday. all the stuff that i bought that day was considered my birthday present. hehe. there are alot of things, clothes and stuff that i would love to buy, but i had selected a grey skinny jeans, a black and grey plaid shirt, a black ribboned wedges and a brown waist belt. waaah. almost a full set of attire. :D my mum pun tak ketinggalan okay. dia pun shopping juga mcm saya. that day she bought, a brown pants that looks like a skinny, a black flat shoes and the same black and grey plaid shirt like me. awww. sweet kan? some people might get really annoyed by the fact that their mum wants to buy the same shirt as yours because it seems sooo uncool, but not to me. i think that is a way or a gesture that shows she loves you very much and she wants to have something in common with you, like in fashion. so i dont mind at all. oh i forgot to mention that i had received a mug from my mum. that mug has a picture of both of us, and words of " happy bithday darling. love you now and forever " :') thnx mama <3 

after we shopped, we went to MP which is just infront of DP to eat. the place that catches our attention was SECRET RECIPE. so off we went. we ate, and talked and ate and talked. after done eating, i bought a pair of new contact lens because my contact lens had expired. after that, before we went to the car park, my brother wanted to go to the toilet first, so i showed him the way. my mum wanted to follow him, but i asked her to follow me, because apparently something had catch my eyes the moment i walked into the mall. HANDBAGS! so we went to the handbag shop which is not exactly a shop, its an open spaced shop in the walkway of the mall. i scanned and scanned for the perfect bag, then finally i saw it. a sling handbag with the base colour of black and white. price: rm 60. i persuaded my mum to pay half of it. hehe. so there you go. a new bag! finally, a complete set. :D

then off we went to our car, fun is over, uitm was waiting for me. :( when i arrived at my college, and its time to say goodbye, i had a difficult time saying goodbye to my mum. i was at the verge of tears but i tried to hold it. if i cried, the pain might seem more painful and hurtful to me so i tried not to. then after lots of hugging and kissing and wishes and advices, off she went back to kl. without me. thanx ma for everything. i really appriciate what you've done to me for my birthday this year. it means alot to me. i love you so much :')

when i went back to my room, jemi was the only person in the room. the rest had went out. i put my stuff at my table. and went to dewan makan temenggung to buy a drink in order to get small change. before that my best friend texted me, where i was. i replied i was in my room, just arrived. she asked, from where. i replied i went out with my mum. and she just said okay. at that time, aku terasa dengan dia. because she was not there with me during my birthday. 1st, she had to went back to kl the day before because her sister was sick. and on my birthday, she was not there with me. how sad. but then something suprising had happened. after i had bought my drink, i went back to my room. when i entered the hallway of my level, i noticed there was a group of girls standing in front of my door. i saw a cake and candles. i saw my best friend from the back and 3 of her futsal friends. OMG. "are they supposed to suprise me?" was the only question that entered my mind. i blushed and went to them. they were suprise to see me walking towards them. i guess i kindda ruined their suprise for me. haha.its kindda funny when i thought about that moment. they said i was supposed to be in my room. that's why my best friend had texted me and had asked where i was. and they were supposed to bang the door, shouting my name, and expected me to be the person who opens the door, and wallah! a suprise for me! yeah, not a reality. haha. when i approached them, they started singing the birthday song with happy faces. and i was blushing, really embarrased. i opened the door, to invite them in. they were so bummed that their suprise didn't work out as expected, they requested for me to close the door, and opened it again, and pretended it was a surprise. haha! what a funny situation. but i did it, for them. then we all went inside and enjoyed the cake. i was so happy at that time, because of what my best friend did  for me. thank you so much. i love you to bits :') <3 

so my birthday was great and a blissful one. thanks to those who had wished me. a huge thanks to my mum and sue idris for the sweet way of celebrating my birthday. its the thought that counts, right? i love you guys so much! <3

my birthday with mama and abang.

my not-so-surprise birthday with my bbf

<3<3<3

hello March

hello March. ;) how fast time flies right? hmm. mid term is just around the corner. and i have not prepared myself for it. i think i kindda forgot how to study. is that even possible. bak kata anis, ibarat dah berak, terlupa nak basuh. errr. ewww +.+" lately, penat sangat kot. events, assignments, classes, presentations and more shitty stuff. sometimes i just want to go home. and run away from reality for awhile. but what can i really do? this is the path that i've choosen. so, March, please be nice to me. besides, my birthday is also around the corner. heheh. :B

how i see myself in ten years

How do I see myself in ten years? A scary question, a scary thought. No one can actually predict what might happen to us in the future. What we can do though, is plan. Plan, plan and plan. The fact that sometimes people overlook is that things might not happen how they wanted it to be. They put high hopes and expectations on themselves, which is actually a good thing but too much of a good thing might not be good. Like wearing too much accessories to match with a ruffled dress, in a fashion perspective. I am not a planner myself. But then, plan can be replace by a dream. Yes, dream. Dreaming sounds more fun and not a stressful thing to do. I choose to dream than plan. Therefore, I can see myself in ten years in a dream perspective.

In ten years, I will have a career. A stable job that pays me a salary that not only can feed me day by day but also to satisfy my wants and needs. As we all know, money plays a significant role in our life. Without it, we are incapable of doing anything. In the future, the cost of living might make us want to jump off the Penang bridge because obviously it does increases as the time goes by and in ten years time, RM50 might look like 5 cents. That is the ugly truth that we have to accept. Back to me having a career, my career would be something in the scope of media industry. It would be such a waste studying communication and media if I didn’t apply it in my life. No, I would not choose to be in front of the camera, I don’t like the feeling of people staring at me or gaining excessive attention whether it is good or bad. So, in ten years,I will work in a film and drama production company, having myself behind the scene and being a part of the crew that helps to produce good movies and dramas. I will have a good position, not necessarily the highest ranking position, just a position where other staffs would look up to me with respect.

Furthermore, in ten years, I will have my own assets. Having big black cars that most rappers own, a mansion that looks like the White House, a golf court as my backyard is way out of my league. In ten years my assets would be, first, a car. A car that mirrored myself and my personality. Possibly small, cute yet elegant. A car that has a good sound system and a small sized television that will entertain me while driving through the harsh Malaysian roads, and a navigation system that will help me find places. I will also own a house. A double story house will be build on my own land. My house will be soft blue in colour so that when I arrived home from work, peace will surround me instantly the moment me eyes lay upon it. My house will also be surrounded by a garden that has beautiful flowers and plants on it. A small fountain will be build on my garden to make the environment of my house looks calm and peaceful. The interior design of my house will be vintage. My house will not be just another house, it will my home sweet home.

Besides that,  in ten years, I will be married. I will be married to someone that I love. Many people nowadays are scared of marriage because they fear commitments. To me, marriage is a sacred thing that joins two hearts that loves each other to share their lives together and I do believe in marriage. Me and my husband will live together and we will have children of our own. The truth is, I actually dislike childrens. They are loud and an annoying human being. But then, in ten years time, when im married, that might change. Who doesn’t want children in their marriage? Not having children is not possible because to me, children is the pride and glory of each happy family. Besides that, in ten years, I will travel the globe. Travelling will broaden one’s mind. I had always wanted to travel but didn’t have the chance to do so. So in the future, when I have a successful career and my salary is something to be proud of, I will create a special savings just for travelling. When my savings are enough, I will take a vacation from the reality of life and just escape somewhere and just be a traveler. I will roam around a city with a backpack  and eat rare foods and learn the unique cultures of people in other parts of the world.  To me, travel makes a great escape.

How I see myself in ten years is yet to be unfold. It is exciting to think and figure out who we will be, what will we do and what will we have in the future but bear in mind that now is the reality and the future is still unknown. Instead of clinging to the dreams of years ahead, we should really concentrate on working hard to get hold of a good blissful life in the future. As for how I see myself in ten years, for now its still in the big fluffy cloud of dreams of mine, waiting to come true.

an essay for BEL260. ;)

we just want to learn, but you were obviously annoyed with us

kalau malas nak jawab soalan pelajar, tak payah pegang tittle 'pensyarah' lah kan? kami datang sini nak belajar, dan proses belajar itu sendiri melibatkan beberapa penerangan, kesalahan, pembaikan, dan juga sesi soal dan jawab. kalau seorang pelajar tu ada inisiatif untuk bertanya soalan, bermakna dia mempunyai inisiatif untuk memperbaiki diri dalam proses pembelajaran tersebut. selain itu, dah secara umumnya, seorang pelajar, tujuan utama adalah untuk belajar sampai pandai. sampai penuh ilmu di dada. tapi bukan semua boleh garap penerangan tentang sesuatu dengan sekali dengar je kan? logik la sikit. otak kalau dah tukar dengan software robot, lain cerita la kan. kalau setakat nama pun manusia biasa, lagi2 baru standard pelajar, normal la untuk buat kesalahan. sbb daripada kesalahan tersebut la, kami akan bangkit dan perbaiki kesalahan tersebut. and when someone has the guts to ask question that is relevent enough to the subject, is it that wrong to just answer with the intention to help the student? just stop and think before you get all mad with us just because we ask questions.

dumb, numb and bummed.

the truth is, i just want the old you back. its just not the same anymore. but if you're happy without me, then i should accept it. i miss you. 

menyambut Dato VC ke uitm Bandaraya Melaka.

semalam merupakan hari yang sangat meletihkan. pelajar2 masscomm part2 diwajibkan untuk pergi ke uitm bandaraya melaka untuk menyambut kedatangan dato VC ke kampus mereka. pelik kan? kami yang takde kena mengena dgn kampus bandaraya, kena pergi sana untuk memeriahkan suasana. why us? oh, yeah. sebab kami gempak kan? kami memang golongan yang boleh menggamatkan suasana tuuuu. kan kan? pentadbir uitm mmg tak boleh hidup tanpa pelajar masscomm ni. hehe. bukan nak bangga, tapi dah mmg kebenaran. :) so smpai sana dalam pukul 11 lebih nak dekat pukul 12. tgok2 event start pukul 2. adoyai. so kteorang pun lepak lepak lah dulu. n bersarapan. bila dah start. apa lagi. gamat lah suasana KBM tu dengan jeritan dan pekikan masscommers yang membanjiri parking lot. kami yang digelar tentera merah, beratur di sepanjang jalan di hadapan KBM, bersorak tanpa henti sampai anak tekak pun dah tak boleh nak berfungsi dgn betul. hanya untuk Dato VC ye. finally bila dato dh smpai, maka bergegar lah bumi KBM tersebut. dramatik sgt aku ni. haha. aku sempat bersalaman dengan dato. excited terlebih aku ni. padahal berlakon je sbb ikot keadaan sekeliling. lepas dah selesai menyambut ketibaan dato, kami dilepaskan untuk bergerak sendiri smpai pukul 4. cisss. datang hanya untuk memeriahkan suasana? haih, takpelah. untuk masscomm dan tak lupa juga untuk attendance (haha) kami sanggup. haha. so aku dan classmates pergi lah jalan2. smbil2 tu, apa lagi, bergambar la kan. camera aku la yang menjadi mangsa. untung la aku. tapi takpe, bukannya selalu. lagipun best gila hangout dgn classmates aku semalam. kteorg pergi jalan kaki smpai dekat kwasan yg ada river cruise tu. sebelum balik ke KBM semula, kteorg singgah kedai makan tepi sungai dulu untuk minum minum smbil tunggu hujan reda. bila dah smpai KBM, kteorg kena stay lagi untuk say bye bye kpd dato VC. in the end, dalam pukul 6 lebih, kami semua pun bertolak balik uitm lendu. conclusion: penat sangat!

okay buhbye.